My Soapbox Opera featuring “Debates”

Humor me as I climb up here on this rickety old over-used soapbox… And in heels, no less. The fading stability of the aged timber is far too often called upon by those that exceed the weight capacity due to burdens needlessly carried on their own, like martyrs. I’ll try not to bring too much up here with me for fear of the creaks and groans of the grumbling platform turning into painful shrieks as I become the proverbial straw that breaks the camel’s back. So now, with visions of my gangly alien limbs flailing from the midst of a pile of wooden wreckage, I cautiously, yet with an air of mischief, step on up.

Tap, tap… Is this thing on??

Ahem …
Ok, I understand that people have a desire to be heard, we all have a voice, speak your mind… Etc, etc. It is increasingly clear that social media sets a welcome stage for all that have a passionate, or even tepid, view on something … Anything really. From vaccines to felines to… *shudders*…Justin Bieber. Or, perhaps, immunizing cats to protect them from Bieber Fever? Don’t roll your eyes, this could be a real thing. I digress.
That said, go forth! Be passionate, people. Share, learn, teach. I’m all for pouring out what drives you, and even heated debate can be a healthy process that serves to enlighten and fuel progress. The knowledge that can be gained in the sharing of what we believe is without limit. And hey, wrap it in some clever wit and I, for one, will be a captive audience.

BUT…

The desire to literally claw my eyeballs out and jam them into my ears overwhelms me at the sight or sound of parties of differing opinions throwing all dignity aside and resorting to petty name calling and idle threats… Like are we for reals right now?! If one feels compelled to tear a complete stranger a “new one” because they dress their cat in a sweater vest, they may be doing life wrong. This, of course, only being my opinion.

At this point in my perusing through the scads of ridiculous comments making up such a so-called “debate”, I assure you, “debaters”, I have no clue what the original argument is. You lost me at “tryn’a get this thru thare blankity-blank thick skull”. I’m now choking on the eyeballs that have rolled down my ear canals into my throat, tears of laughter running from empty sockets. The grammar becomes atrocious! There… their… They’re… Thare?? And did I miss the announcement inducting “tryn’a” into the list of legit contractions?

Any valid and honorable fact that may have been previously put forth has now been sullied, lost under a cloak of ugly words.

Consider this comparison:
It’s like wanting someone who is on a diet to try a piece of your delicious cake, but, when they decline, embracing the mindset that icing it in layers and layers of poo will somehow instill them with the desire to take a bite?!

Know what? They can keep thare cake and eat it, too.

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