Tuesday night’s waffle soup clean-up inspired a perusal through the annals of time… Well, more specifically, my Facebook timeline… To remind myself that vomit is a mere inconvenience, I’ve encountered MUCH worse. In fond memory, through vision blurring laugh-tears, I read the following post aloud to my toxic substance producing offspring.
One beautiful morning last spring, as I drop my child off at daycare, I reached to wrap him in a loving embrace at the exact moment he convulses in a sneeze….slinging the biggest, grossest, most vile blob of slimy snot directly onto the back of my hand at great velocity, ensuring maximum splatter and coverage ….. *GAAAAAAG* …. Very little grosses me out, including waffle soup, but this gooey green substance stands smugly at the top of that podium, resulting in all rationale fleeing the scene… Making horrific dry heave actions, which are beginning to frighten the little bystanders, I grasp for the nearest Kleenex box…. EMPTY!! In the background, I recall vaguely hearing my dear child’s profuse apologies as I stagger to the sink, with my cookies fortunately untossed, where I am able to finally free myself of this dripping disgustingness.
“Sorry, Mommy” – I go in for round 2 and come out unscathed. Time to start the day.
Good thing I love my baby.