When safely tucked in perceived certainties, seemingly knowing exactly where you are, a whispering fog can be a thing of beauty… Sat in a cozy chair at a familiar frosted window, an audience of one silently applauding this magical mysterious entity winding it’s way through a wooded path, a white blanket nuzzling known marvels beneath it. But dissolve the walls of certainty, remove the seat of familiarity … The fog takes on an ominous presence and begins to breed darkness… the mind, embracing angst, becomes lost…
The fear of the unknown blinds the eyes to the beauty that exists.
Give me my chair back!
While there might be something to be said for the familiarity and comfort of “same” or “routine”, I relish the freshness of firsts! One might falsely assume that firsts die out with age. Our little creatures wipe their own noses for the first time, bake our favorite cookies for the first time, point out our private flaws in public for the first time… some firsts are not as particularly pride-inspiring as others… but as our offspring, due to obviously stellar parenting, ace Life Skills 101, what’s left?! Thankfully, the firsts that I continue to meet & greet regularly in my own daily on goings provide strong evidence that there is no need for me to mourn a dying out of firsts in my boys. I simply dance in the new melody each new instance creates. Now I dance to G’s latest first, twirling to harmonious chords that weave color into the tune of “Happy Birthday”. My proud young man purposefully enters the small Woodridge Vintage corner store, a crisp ten dollar bill in hand, which only minutes ago had been safely tucked in the soft folds of a leather wallet in his closet at home… this leather wallet holding key members of the dirtbike fund. His sparkling hazel eyes peek out from underneath a snow-glittered toque and look up to meet mine, eyes that see beyond himself, eyes that see an opportunity to let his heart speak. With a contagious joy, he bounds up the stairs to the gift shop above the convenience store, beckoning me to follow. An excitement matched to his carries me up and as I reach the top of the steps the scene before me is that of an eager bright-eyed boy scouring the shelves, reviewing price tags, hands drawn to touch every pink item, on a hunt for the perfect treasure to present his mommy for her birthday. Settled with the decision that his mommy should select her favorite scent from the variety of candles on display, he pulls me into his childlike delight. Together we choose a small colored clay jar holding pale reeds to absorb a sweet scented oil. The fragrant aroma now caresses my senses as I pause to recall the glowing face of my oldest son as he hands the cashier his very own ten dollar bill, pulled from it’s duty in the dirtbike fund for a higher purpose. Arm around my growing boy, we walk out of the store as my melting heart leaves a trail behind us. Another first… my boy spent his own money at the Woodridge corner store and did not leave with candy. *proud single tear
Heed my plea, do not for a moment think this is simply an old adage thrown about by our elders! It’s an FYI… Meant literally! Case in point: hmmmm, it’s the very last second… Perfect time to start planning tomorrow’s Halloween costume for work! Rummage here, dig there… Oh, here’s a sweet hat! Killer shoes… I’m nailing this thing! Ensemble complete in an impressive 20 minutes! About to debut my masterpiece to my dear hubby, who is enthralled in a book on the couch, I proudly call out (and oh the irony, so thick, I’m sure I slipped on it) “Do I look ridiculous?” He looks up… BAeM!! Killer heels slip down off the top step, knees buckle, hips thrown forward while alien arms flail back to grasp against smooth walls, only prolonging the inevitable.. The slowest fall in history! Face contorting into some less aerodynamic expression, shins paving the carpeted stairs with skin, I finally come to a thud, face down on the hallway floor and narrowly avoid the need for a chalk outline …convulsing, no breath for words… The shaking won’t stop! Faintly hubby’s “are you ok?” inquiries penetrate my ears… at long last, through my debilitating , near paralytic laughter, I squeak out my last wish “I wish I could have seen that!!” … again, my need for a personal paparazzi overwhelms me. In closing and with skinned shins, I hope you take this morsel of wisdom… If you’re awesome and you know it, watch your step.
“Life is a tragedy for those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.” – Horace Walpole
Marinating in gratitude that I’m a thinker…. light hearted and fueled by laughter! Weight concerns are woven throughout society why add a heavy heart to the mix.